dying inside... :'(

WOULD I RATHER BE HURT BY DA TRUTH OR PROTECTED BY LIES N LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT KNOWING IT??? :'(


am totally CONFUSED wif OPTIONS given, wif dat 'PERSON' n WORST...wif MYSELF!! i've been thinking a lot n i finally jump into an answer...maybe a quote i heard is right....

"Love means exposing urself to da pain of being hurt, deeply hurt by someone you trust."

but for all da times i passed through..i've learned also dat good-byes will always hurt...pictures will never replace everything u had there..memories of good and bad will bring tears and words can never replace feelings....i hate to think about it..i hate myself for being stuck into dis situation again...seriously, i wish dat i had da strength to let u move on when u first let it out clearly to me...instead,i've held u back, next to me where i feel safe...i've held u here bcoz u're all i've ever known in dis place..u r da one who i really2 lurve...n i cant deny dat i need u throughout my life...

i did ask few persons i trust about da truth-and-lie-things..i've got soo many answers..some have same thought wif me dat when u cant change something n u hav to live in dat situation,it is way better to not knowing it..but some said dat truth is better..even if it will hurt us at dat moment.at least we know da truth and so,we can decide for ourself on how to go forward...but for me...both r acceptable...what's best i can say is...
da world and situations r never black n white..i think we should try to live life honestly and as open as possible..but there r times when u need to operate in da grey area for someone elses sake...da world is not juz u...yeah..it's juz a world..what we should care more is da eternal world..but to hav a great life there, we should care also about lifes right here,right now..n we've been ordered to be kind to others..so,hurting someone's feelings is hurting someone's feelings, whether u were truthful about it or not...
so,me here...gonna do my very own best to juz follow da flow...n fulfil everything i'd promised...n i hope dat u would do da same for me...dat's all i ask...n forgive me if this entry hurts u..i really didnt mean to....
so,


Im going to smile like there's nothing wrong. Talk like everything's PERFECT, act like it's all a dream & PRETEND it's not hurting me...

*kelly, i owe u for dis very meaningful sentence*

merry x'mas everybody! :D


May joy and happiness snow on you, may the bells jingle for you and may Santa be extra good to you! 


=))

bila nak kahwin???? o.O

Bila nak kawin???
Di sini orang bertanya
Di sana orang menyoal
Tak kira teman mahu kenalan
Asyik-asyik itu je yang jadi bualan
Begitulah nasib orang bujang
Tak kira lelaki mahupun perempuan

Bila nak kawin???
Keluarga pun dah mula risau
Si teruna. emak bimbang jadi bujang terlajak
Si dara. ayah takut bergelar andalusia

Bila nak kawin???
Jiran turut sama menumpang tanya
Bila dijawab jodoh belum ada
Kata mereka, kita kenalah usaha
Mandi bunga salah satu caranya
Tak pun mandi ais boleh dicuba(he..he..ni cadangan pelik kawan saya)

Bila nak kawin???
Aduuuhh.aku disoal lagi
Kawin??? Nak kawin dengan sapa?
Calon pun takde.
Hah!!! Awak tu memilih sangat agaknya
Ewah-ewah sedap sungguh mulut berkata

Bila nak kawin???
Akan ku kawin jam-jam ni juga ( haa.haa.haa)
Andai memilih suami semudah bershopping di pasar malam
Atau semudah membeli VCD cetak rompak
Atau sesenang memakan twisties..

Bila nak kawin???
Aaahhh.sungguh aku bosan
Banyak yang lain boleh jadi persoalan
Kenapa asyik itu yang dihadapkan
Apa kita nak heran
Lambat cepatnya jodoh, Allah yang tentukan.

Bila nak kawin???
Pada yang masih bujang
Biarkanlah mereka terus bertanya
Usah ditunggu letih mulut mereka (Takkan letihnya sampai bebila..)
Kalau ada jodoh.
Insya-Allah takkan ke mana.

Bila nak kawin???
Pada yang asyik menanya
Usah dirisaukan jodoh orang
Jaga masjid sendiri agar tidak goyang
Lain orang lain rezekinya
Syukurlah dengan apa yang kita ada... ;))

a beautiful malay wedding :D


isn't it sweet?ever since i was a little girl..i've always loved attending weddings-be it a personal friend's or as someones partner..n y not??
a wedding has to be one of da best moments in da lifecycle of a relationship..it's dat pivotal moment where 2 come together n make dat huge commitment of "FOREVER AND EVER"....Well, during my two-months-holiday, i recently attended da wedding of one of my relatives n da other one is my friend's wedding..again i said..my friend,a 19-year-old-gal..haha...am sori..am excited n of course a bit shocked too actly bout their wedding....they tied da knot after goin out for nearly 4 years when they first felt in love to each other since highschool..it was soo romantic, touching, n i must say whenever i see them now...there's a certain extra loving glow about the two...owh,how lovely they r..<3
but..its not so suprising as i also have a few other primary-school-frenz who already have children at my age now..cant imagine their lifes now..hoho
it's a bit sad to say dat i lost their pics..accidently formatted my memory...huh!:'(  but its ok..its not necessary to show all those pics..what important is i wanna share to u guyz on da happy moments of those weddings..;D
As it was a Malay wedding, they had da akad nikah (signing of the marriage contract) in da morning, followed by makan beradab (lunch reception). This went on till about 3 pm, whereafter everyone went home to rest until da evening ‘party’. I hope you guyz enjoy these wedding photos which i "googled"..juz for replacing what i'd lost! haha =.=

Once da akad nikah is completed (they really do actually sign a contract!), da bersanding ceremony follows...Here guests must shower da couple wif rice and scented water, to signify a blessing to da couple..the couple sat on da pelamin or dais that they had made for the special day...
dis is actually da part of wedding i like da most! sitting on da dais together wif a guy u juz married n every eyes on dat wedding look straight to u, juz u! my god...i cant wait to feel it myself..but am quite sure..its gonna be few years to go for dat moment...hmm, its okay..not need to rush..i can wait n i will..*for my dear* ;))

Da overall theme was a colour palette of red, pink and white...it looks great..well..i've been wondering on how my wedding would be..haha..i guess...combination of aubergine, platinum and lilac would be soo nice,yet elegance... ;))



isn't it look nice??;D i want something very simple,easy goin wif a touch of elegance....for me..da most important ingredient is da company - n sometimes dat's all u need, ur friends & ur family on ur big day.... ;))

but nway...congratulations to them..:D


Today is a dream realized from years past,
da white dress, da wedding cake, da promise of a love dat lasts..


Today is da beginning of a journey da two of u now share,
da vow to love, honor, and cheerish now seen in da rings u wear...


But tomorrow, tomorrow u will wake as a husband and wife
where da person next to u is urs for life...


And so my wish to u both is dat when u wake each day,
u will  turn to each other wif da same look u share today........

I'm addicted....OMG! It's a disease!! =.=

 1.                  TV
2.                  Sleep
3.                  Internet
4.                  Youtube
5.                  Movies
6.                  Musics
7.                  Games
8.                  Hangout
9.                  Day-dreaming
10.               Window-shopping
11.               Wandering around aimlessly
12.               Staring up at the ceiling
13.               Planning something big to do but in the end doing nothing at all..*dush!*
14...15..16...my god..there's lot more to tell..hmm...na-ah..better no..enough ofa dat...haha :p


new mission - being a 'BETTER' wanie :D

sorry seems to be da best word..:")

BEST SIDE-TO-BE



Even if u're rite..it's better to be on da side dat goes, "I'm sorry.."
bcoz, then..da other side has an either-or-option---to forgive, or to hold da grudge, which would make him/her/them look childish n unforgiving..
besides.. "SORRY" works wonder on wounded pride, egos n anger..it's much easier to bring him/her/them to ur point of view when he/she/they r calmer...
nway, sayin sorry requires lots of effort n inner-strength..it kills da proud.. :D
BUT...
using sorry like dis :


" I'm sorry i fell in love wif u.. sorry i gave everything u wanted, sorry i was there for u all da time.."


Dat's not apologizing..dat's something called GUILT-TRIPPNG...bcoz,what is da person being "apologized" to goin to respond?? it's all right, i liked it when it happened??n actly it's my style too..huhu..love to see those gulity faces...instead of hurting them..i think it's better to make those person felt guilty for what the did..hmm...


BUT...
it reminds me of some parents in movies too... :


parent to teen : "Well..i'm sorry for givin u da best!!"
Best way to counter?
Teen: "It's all right, i didnt really need da best anyway..."


OH..WHAT A WORLD.........  =.=


but dats what we called reality..it's juz piece of words from me on what happened lately...opss!! :p

truth about life.....

life isn't always easy, it's full of tough decisions and heartache,
and things don't always work out the way we hoped..
life just doesn't come with guarantees. and while it's true that sometimes,
by avoiding taking a chance on people, we can avoid some heartache,
we might also miss out on the best times of our life. don't be afraid to love..

read it and think about it!

Life is too short, grudges are a waste of perfect happiness..
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change.. 
Love deeply and forgive quickly.. 
Take chances, give everything..
Have no regrets.. 
Life is too short to be unhappy you have to take the good with the bad.. 
Smile when you're sad, love what you got, and always remember what you had..
Always forgive, but never forget..
Learn from your mistakes, but never regret people.. 
Change and things go wrong, but always remember life goes on..:D

The Butterfly Effect: How Your Life Matters, by Andy Andrews

"Every single thing you do matters. You have been created as one of a kind. You have been created in order to make a difference. You have within you the power to change the world."

ANDY ANDREWS


The Butterfly Effect, by Andy Andrews, is short; but the message it brings is profound and inspiring.The Butterfly Effect seeks to help us see the big picture, that everything you do will impact something or the other, with beautiful pictures and colorful pages, in a way suitable to people who are older and appreciate history.
Each page contains, at most, 60 words (excluding the Author’s note), making this book an easy read. The vocabulary used is easily understood.Every page is a glossy page! Colorful and befitting the situation it presents, it captivated me, from the start, till the end. I’ll say, this book changed my thinking with the message it presents. It is short, yet powerful. I would recommend this book to people who need encouragement in their lives. 5 stars. :DD

distance makes us apart, but loves n cares always make us stay in one heart :)

I miss the old days when we were together always;
I miss the old time when we were there for each other;
I miss the old moment when we laughed and cried along;
I miss all things about you guys;

Never fail to lend me a smile
Nor leading me to smile
Required all the time for shoulder shared
Nor love and sadness spared

Syafiq and Syarafuddin;
Both of you colours my life;
Paints and drawings are your artwork;
In the sacred cloth of mine;

Thanks for everything;
A boyfriend and a bestfriend;
Both bff;
We will be together always;
I'll be there soon enough;
So we can let the fire burns out loud.


Tribute to my bff, Syafiq and Syarafuddin... Without you guys, I am just a person... With you guys, I am me..
Thanks guys for everything...:DD

true love story never have ending, it only makes us in love endlessly...

it's been 1 year n 11 months we've been together..from da very 1st time we've met..u r already in my heart baby..n now..u r still there..n always be there...
for all things we've been through...
i juz wanna say I LOVE U..
n i know u'll do da same thing too.. :)



In a silver chain

Of evening rain,
Unravelled from the tumbling main,
And threading the eye of a yellow star: -
So many times do I love again.
~Thomas Lovell Beddoes

filter..

Whenever i feel depressed (well, I DO get depressed !), my mind gets full of things to blog anout..about how sucky everything is...about how terrible things are...how unfair some situations are...
so,i open my Windows Live Writer n stare at da blank page..thought buzzing around....emotions fluttering about...then, i decided not to write anything...
and i havent n wont ever, regret doing dat.. ;))
bcoz i know dat soon n very soon, God will deliver me fron dis ditch..for thought da sorrow may last for da nite...his joy will come in da morning...he'll carry me up, n lift my head up high n i can smile..n yeah.. dats what happen..i'm smiling now..hoho :DD

now,dont blame me for not talking or sharing my thoughts n emotions; its juz dat i've a great god...n he's more than enough...:)

life is simple..but y sometimes it can turn out to be complicated.....

Life is life...n it is far away from its true meaning if it's not arouse n surrounded by problems, tragedies, n many more...i'm trying to live da life i used to live...still looking for ways to get myself back on track again...bcoz of dis one stupid thing showed up, da whole point changed....


i believe,all of us always wonder whether u can achieve or not something dat u want in dis bored life...in my case..i guess i dont know either...some part of me says dat i can do it but another part of me says no..things havent been dat good for me nowadays..i keep on killing myself day by day n i guess dats da only way to relief dis stupid feeling of mine...thinking about da past,wondering about da future, n revising my current weather.. n yes..it is not dat good n hopefully it wont last dat long...


i am anxiously lookin forward to start things all over again, eventhough i hav no guts to turn da cycle back...but believe..there will always way to make it...n i believe....in dis life...nothing is impossible....



**in dis hard times..i'm glad i still have lover dat always stay by my side..
supporting me all da time..thanx syg..u give me reasons to smile..;))

="(

Sometimes, things that you want in life won't be yours and sometimes things that you don't want in life fell into your arms 

Things happened...n it was da past...sometimes, looking back at da past reminds me everything..sure,there's a lot ahead of me...too much for me to figure it out by myself...
life do sucks, but still..thank god coz its not all da time...but sometimes...
n here i wish for da good time to come..

p/s: god..pliz show me da way to fix back all dis things i messed up...:"(

Salam Ma'al Hijrah 1432 to all muslims ;))


Wif da advent of da New Year, i always find it beneficial to reflect on ones actions n achievements in da previous year n make some plans for da coming years....alongside dat all important firm resolve to set realistic resolutions to carry out insya'Allah... n hopefully turn it to a year of ibadah n happiness...


May Allah Jalla Wa Ta'ala bless dis New Year for us..n make it one where we get closer to Him n increase in our worship...n make dat worship a benefit for our hearts in dis life..n our abode in da Hereafter...amin....:DD

beza antara cinta. sayang, suka, dan minat... :)

Cinta - Kita memang mengharapkan dia menjadi milik kita. Segala apa yang kita buat, kalau buleh nak dia tahu.. dan kita sebuleh mungkin tak nak sakitkan hati dia. kita akan sentiasa berfikir tentang dirinya. (dalam erti lain : cinta di tujukan kepada seseorang yg kita selalu ingat dan mimpi.. Tanpanya kita akan rasa sunyi dan kita cintakan sepenuh jiwa dengan hati yg ikhlas kepadanya walaupun dia buat tak tau je)

Sayang - Kita memerlukan dia di masa kita mahukan seseorang untuk berkongsi rahsia dan kisah duka kita. selalunya kita akan sayangkan seseorang yang menjadi TELINGA kepada masalah kita. (dalam erti lain : sayang di tujukan kepada seseorang yang boleh membuangkan masa dia untuk mendengar dan memeningkan kepalanya dgn masalah kita dan kita jugak boleh menyakitkan hati dia kerana kita bukannya cinta kepadanya)

Suka - Kita sukakan dia kerana dia kelakar. Dia happy-go-lucky. Bila bersama dengan dia, kita rasa nak tergelak sampai nak pecah perut. Tapi, kita taklah rindu sangat kat dia bila tak berjumpa seminggu…(dalam erti lain : suka di tujukan kepada seseorang yang boleh menjadi pelawak kepada kita. Kita akan suruh dia diam sekiranya keng kita dah nak pecah…)

Minat - Apa sesuatu pada dirinya yang menarik kita untuk mendekatinya.(dalam erti lain : minat ditujukan kepada seseorang yang ada sifat, peribadi atau barang yang kita mahukan… )

Tetapi kita kena ingat bahawa tanpa minat , suka dan sayang kita tidak akan CINTA pada seseorang itu…

pain makes life a reality.is it?? XD

Fucking Fever 
CHICKEN POX
really tortured me guy 
psyche and mental indeed
-______-"

alhamdulillah...today..i'm gettin better...i mean a lot better okeyh.. :) compared to last monday..cant even sleep well coz da whole body of mine were soo-soo-soo itchy..n of course look terrifying wif all those pop pop..haha..i lost my appetite too for few days earlier but yet am not losing weigh,not even a kg.....:p n da worst part is dat i cant go out..ma parentz say dat while we r having dis creepy little pop2,we should never let da rain from gettin in contact wif our skin..or else..it might get worst..i mean..lots-lots-lots more pop2 will come out...haha..well..eventhough if they're not telling it,i still wont go out..hell no..!!not wif all dis pops...but not too long haa...juz a few days more..n am gettin ready to shot out from dis bore-to-death place...*monster laugh*haha


btw,millions of thanx to all  who took care of me for da whole week especially to mama & ayah...ILY forever n my love towards u guyz never paused :")) n abg, i love u too, a lot okeyh..thanx for all..i dont think of mentioning it here..it's hard for me to say every single thing u did for me..coz there'r too many of it..but all in all...thanx-thanx-thanx n thanx..lurve ya!.:")


n to all friends.thanx too for all ur kindness, wishes n also advices...omigod..terharu gile!especially when some of them said dat they r willing to take dis pop2 from me rather than seeing me suffer for it..*eventhough i know they r juz 'gebang lebih'*..haha..but dis is what friendz for..they r wif me while i need one..juz like a lover..thank god i have them..^^
i hate CHICKEN POX,seriously but somehow, i learnt da meaning of LOVE,CARE,N PATIENCE, deeply...thank u fever coz u make me appreciate people around me much :))


p/s : islam said dat,when we're sick...our sins gonna be vanishes..
may my last dream come true...amin.. :D




congratulations!

HAPPY GRADUATION DAY TO ALL GRADUATED STUDENT OF UITM 
:)

GRADUATION DAY!
what is graduation??almost all of us celebrated it or will someday..but do we know da real meaning of it..?
some people say dat it's da end of da best years of our lives..some would say dat its when we're forced to grow up n become adults...some would say dat it's juz another day,no different than any other day,other than da scrolls,da funny outfits, n da clapping...some go into it silent,awaiting their chance to be recognized for their victory dance..
not enough with dat.some use stupid comparisons to describe it by saying dat it's like an opening of a new door or dat it's like taking another step on the never-ending ladder of life...
some praise it,<3..but some dread it...
every1 has a different opinion but there's 1 thing dat we all agree on..there's 1 quest on da back of all our minds dat we worry about every time we think bout dis speacial da...
n da quest is : WHAT'S NEXT???huhu~ ^^

thinking of it never bring us to an end..to me...graduation marks da end of an era..but da end of it is juz a new beginning to da next-more-challenge-ing step..:) where we go from there n what new frontiers we r meant to discover may remain unseen,but as we step out those doors n stare into da 1st lights of what is to come n what is to be,always remember dis day's victory..for no matter what tomorrow brings,be it simplest path or a road wrought wif twists n turns, dat day...we share an achievement..so..to all graduated students,congratulations...

n not to forget...am takin dis oppurtunity to give speacial wishes to kak Fatin Izzatie a.k.a Kak Long, my boyfie's eldest sis for being done wif her degree in Physiology..i bet dat is one remarkable achievement in their fam...happy for u kak! :)



ops..also to two more persons which recently..might become closer to me..haha
to my young-dedicated lecturer, Mr Kamarul Affendi n his girlfriend,Kak Yin who in juz a month will become my housemate...i would like to wish to u guyz too...congratulations!


i may not saying it loudly..but deep inside..i always wanna be like u guyz..
more effort n patience..dats all it takes..it ok..someday..it will be my day...:)

so,on last 27hb Nov 2010,ur achievement were celebrated..congratulations again kak!<3
always take wif u da memories, da knowledge n da self-satisfaction of a job well done okeyh!:D


"With Faith in God, You Can Achieve Everything You Dream of on This Graduation Day."