dying inside... :'(

WOULD I RATHER BE HURT BY DA TRUTH OR PROTECTED BY LIES N LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT KNOWING IT??? :'(


am totally CONFUSED wif OPTIONS given, wif dat 'PERSON' n WORST...wif MYSELF!! i've been thinking a lot n i finally jump into an answer...maybe a quote i heard is right....

"Love means exposing urself to da pain of being hurt, deeply hurt by someone you trust."

but for all da times i passed through..i've learned also dat good-byes will always hurt...pictures will never replace everything u had there..memories of good and bad will bring tears and words can never replace feelings....i hate to think about it..i hate myself for being stuck into dis situation again...seriously, i wish dat i had da strength to let u move on when u first let it out clearly to me...instead,i've held u back, next to me where i feel safe...i've held u here bcoz u're all i've ever known in dis place..u r da one who i really2 lurve...n i cant deny dat i need u throughout my life...

i did ask few persons i trust about da truth-and-lie-things..i've got soo many answers..some have same thought wif me dat when u cant change something n u hav to live in dat situation,it is way better to not knowing it..but some said dat truth is better..even if it will hurt us at dat moment.at least we know da truth and so,we can decide for ourself on how to go forward...but for me...both r acceptable...what's best i can say is...

da world and situations r never black n white..i think we should try to live life honestly and as open as possible..but there r times when u need to operate in da grey area for someone elses sake...da world is not juz u...yeah..it's juz a world..what we should care more is da eternal world..but to hav a great life there, we should care also about lifes right here,right now..n we've been ordered to be kind to others..so,hurting someone's feelings is hurting someone's feelings, whether u were truthful about it or not...
so,me here...gonna do my very own best to juz follow da flow...n fulfil everything i'd promised...n i hope dat u would do da same for me...dat's all i ask...n forgive me if this entry hurts u..i really didnt mean to....
so,


Im going to smile like there's nothing wrong. Talk like everything's PERFECT, act like it's all a dream & PRETEND it's not hurting me...

*kelly, i owe u for dis very meaningful sentence*